Musings from Joel

So Lexus thinks they are geniuses putting these “keyed lugs” on each tire. It keeps your wheels from moving on without the vehicle in tow. I can see their point, but I would have to question why someone driving one of these vehicles new would park it in an area where tires are going to be jacked. Steeling tires takes time. So, unless Tony Stewart’s pit crew turns to crime I don’t see why these things are standard.  The only time I see cars with stolen tires is when they are left on the side of the freeway for several days, usually that is the least of their problems.

I would venture to guess that most Lexus owners are not going to abandon their car in favor of walking somewhere. Then decide to leave it on the freeway for several days until they can convince some unemployed and otherwise bored and wayward friend to get a rope and help them tow it back to their house ( assuming it still has tires). But, I may be wrong. Anyway I digress, these damn keyed lugs are nothing short of a nightmare, if like me, you attempt to take it off and a section of it breaks away. What you are left with is a useless, unremovable, lug and a tire that isn’t going anywhere without dynamite. The ultimate anti-theft and anti-tire maintenance lock in the world.  It’s akin to padlocking your front door and then throwing the key in the lake, except a lot worse.

To begin with these things are made of chrome alloy, so think about something really hard and then beat it to a pulp with these lugs. Women should wear these things on their wedding fingers, they are so hard. My first thought was to drill a hole in the top and then insert a bolt remover which looks like a reverse threaded drill bit with a cone shaped head. 10 minutes of drilling later and a drill that was starting to melt, I had made a scratch on the surface of the lug and nothing more. I would have better luck nailing jello to the wall. So then I thought I would get out a cold chisel and try to beat until it decided to turn and loosen up. My cold chisel lasted all of 3 minutes before it bent out of frustration and decided it would rather be in the garbage can than continue on with the torture I was imbibing on it. So I took a minute to curse the lug, wish it eternal damnation, and then decided to get out the diamond tipped grinder.
Grinders really are the catch all of tools. They can remove just about anything you throw at them and are a favorite on many tv shows for the sparks they throw when grinding metal. They are the Billy Mays’ quick chop of the construction world. So I went to town on this bolt with my grinder. It was a slow process to essentially cut the bolt in half and then break it with a chisel but it did eventually give up and let go. The trick of course is to not destroy your wheel with the grinder while cutting the bolt. It takes a skilled and steady hand. But it can be done.